Another Wonderful Day

Although I lost out on good sleep, missed one of the most beautiful days I can recall, and accomplished nothing at work...today was a great day. Why? One-on-one time with my gamer, 'nuff said. Since he wanted to enjoy the beautiful weather (and see me, I hope), he surprised me by coming home early from work and waking me up to hang out. I think his good mood must have been related to the bag of Hershey kisses I left at his computer or the fact that I have ensured that his supply of soda, Eggo waffles, and Cordon Bleu has been resupplied mysteriously every evening.  :)

Stress

This exercise in having a totally different schedule from my husband has been enlightening for me. I feel free, relaxed, energized, and not-stressed. When I go back to my old schedule, I will have to apply the things I have learned about myself:

(Lesson 1) I need to plan quality activities with friends, not a large quantity of meaningless errands. I really like to go to the store by myself and wander the aisles to find what I know I need. I also really enjoy relaxing with friends, while playing board games or just plain hanging out to talk. I need to stop trying to mesh the two activities.

(Lesson 2) I need to go to bed knowing that everything is planned, set out, and ready for the next day. So, I need to spend at least a few minutes each evening setting out my clothes, making our lunches, and reviewing the next day's schedule. A little preparation goes a long way.

(Lesson 3) I need to clear my head by exercising alone every other day, just after work. Multi-tasking by making my exercise time coincide with hanging out with a friend forces me to exercise according to my friend's availability and makes me set low exercise priorities, which ultimately leads me to not wanting to exercise at all.

(Lesson 4) I need to take time each night to write down my thoughts, read, and unwind in front of the TV.

(Lesson 5) I need to make time for good quality conversation with my gamer. When we both make the effort, we are both happy with the results.

So...that's the plan for March...hope I can stick to it.

Eventful

I could not have planned today to run better. I woke up (on my own) before my alarm, arrived at and left the Vet's office early, arrived at and left the Chiropractor's office early, and arrived at work right at start time. My gamer cooked his own dinner tonight (I see the wrappings by the toaster oven). I laid out instructions for Chicken Cordon Bleu, and it looks like his first baking adventure was successful. By the end of the week, I might get him to cook me lasagna (in my dreams). All this alone-time has directed me toward my newest passion: Netflix. If I had Netflix when I first decided to stop playing online games, I don't think we would have had such a hard time coping with the change. Even when my gamer is gaming, I can watch my Netflix shows in the same room (if one of us wears headphones). The television is placed in such a way that he can see what I watch, and he often comments on the characters and plot of each movie. I've always enjoyed his perspective. So although he's asleep right now, in honor of my gamer, I'm off to watch Netflix.

Happy Valentine's Day

The next few weeks will test our almost two-year marriage. This time the pressure won't be from gaming, but work schedules. If we both get 8 daily hours of sleep during this period, we will have a maximum time together of about one hour per day. This morning did not work out so perfectly, though. My gamer woke up as I drifted into slumber. I think he kissed me, but I don't remember if that was a "good morning" or a "goodbye" kiss. Tomorrow will be harder, I think, because I need to sacrifice sleep to take our dog to the Veterinarian and stop by the Chiropractor's office for a neck adjustment to stave off the migraine I feel coming on. Oh well, I have alleviated some of that worry and time crunch by setting out my clothes and making up our lunches early. (Feeling a little nostalgic about grade school days...homework's done and backpack is waiting by the door)

Week #2

My gamer husband has been pretty busy lately, catching up on the many games he ignored while raiding in WoW. This season of gaming is the 'quiet before the storm.'  The next WoW release, titled Cataclysm, is rumored to appear on shelves in December. Until then, the group of 25+ gamers who usually entertain my husband are off enjoying a break.

So, for now, my gamer has free time, too.  It's truly a blessing that we have times like this to reconnect. When raids are in full swing, it can sometimes feel like we are single people living under the same roof and sleeping in the same bed. During raiding time, he stays up late into the night to be on the same schedule with the 25+ other people from New York to California. (Since my job frowns on sleeping at my desk, I still go to bed early.)

Tonight, I feel like I did when we were dating...and that feels amazing. We went out to dinner at our favorite restaurant, and I was able to convince him to go grocery shopping on the way home. (That's spectacular, because he finds no pleasure in wandering around a store while I try to figure out what I forgot to put on the list) Now that we sit and entertain ourselves on our respective PC's, I flashback to how we acted when we were in college. We would often work on different homework assignments or tasks in the same room. While we were then, and are now, both busily engaged in our tasks, we relax more since we are together.  We probably even accomplish more when we sit together.

While I am away from our house, entertaining my Mom, walking the dog, or grocery shopping, my gamer frequently gets 'stir-crazy' and cleans the house to rid himself of nervous energy.  When I am home, he does his best gaming, only needing to leave his chair to use the men's room, cook a frozen meal, and grab caffeine.

In fact, when we married, I fed him real food and he instantly gained 25 lbs. (Thanks to WeightWatchers, he's thin again, and I'm still struggling with my extra XX lbs) Anyway, the diet miracle can wait for another day. I'm just glad I had my gamer-time tonight. :)

Learning About How WoW Has Impacted Others

World of Warcraft (WoW) is my husband's MMO drug of choice. If I was willing to re-donate hours to game playing, it would also be my drug of choice. Yesterday, my gamer asked me if I wanted to level my character up for him when the Cataclysm expansion is released. I just don't know how I feel about that. I love to play the game...that's not why I stopped. I wanted to get out of the house and see friends I hadn't seen since college. I wanted to meet new people. I needed to plan our wedding, and I needed to research home-buying. Well, in my pursuit to learn more, I stumbled upon the WoW Insider Blog called "Drama Mamas" that deals with drama issues involving WoW and WoW gamers. The following are my (so far) favorite posts:

Wife Aggro
http://wow.joystiq.com/2009/11/13/drama-mamas-wife-aggro/

Divorce Drama
http://wow.joystiq.com/2010/05/28/drama-mamas-divorce-drama/

Make It Work
http://wow.joystiq.com/2010/05/14/drama-mamas-make-it-work-friday/

When a Partner Wanders Astray
http://wow.joystiq.com/2009/11/28/drama-mamas-when-a-partner-wanders-astray/

Introducing Friends and Family to WoW
http://wow.joystiq.com/2007/05/27/azeroth-interrupted-introducing-friends-and-family-to-wow/

What Are You Here For
http://wow.joystiq.com/2009/09/18/drama-mamas-what-are-you-here-for/

Tips on Getting Wife Back Into WoW
http://wow.joystiq.com/2010/07/09/drama-mamas-tips-on-getting-wife-back-into-wow/

That last one might just get me back into playing...at least until my bank account says I can go shopping again.

How It All Began

"Do you want to play anymore?"

I remember my fiancé (now husband) asking that while we ate dinner in our over-priced, amenity-laden, money pit (apartment) in the ritzy part of town. It had been a few days since I logged in to play my WoW character, and he wanted me to mine ore for him to sell in the auction house.

"Not really," I responded...which was the first time I had honestly answered that question in a while. He had already come to that conclusion on his own when I had given him my login information and neglected to comment on the character changes he made.

That was a little over two years ago. Tonight, my husband is downstairs in the basement of our much more affordable house in the suburbs playing my character, as if she had always belonged to him. His own characters are well-equipped, but WoW has redesigned the game to make playing my lady more enjoyable.

The clock reads 9:12 pm. He said he MUST be in bed by 9 o'clock.

When we lived in the apartment, I would have stomped around the corner or yelled from bed...
"8:40!"
"8:50!"
"9!"
"Are you coming?"
"It's 9:10!"

Wow, I was really annoying back then. Now, I sit cozily in bed. I kissed him goodnight at 8:30, let the dog out, brought the dog back inside, petted the cat, sent the dog to his bed, and snuggled into the covers to write. I do not function well with less than seven hours of sleep. Many nights, I aim for 9 hours.

When we were in college, my gamer husband would tuck me into bed in my dorm room and walk to his room to continue playing with friends. In our apartment, I convinced him to cuddle with me until I fell asleep...then he would go play. Today, I recognize that he loves me. If I was really needy, I could convince him to come upstairs (for a minute or two).

Instead of complaining, though, I load up on affection that he is willing to provide early in the evening, like a peck on the lips if he is busy, a good (quick) kiss if he is waiting for a game to load, a hug if he waits for a friend to join his game, or a steamy 20 minutes when no one is online.

In his way, I am glad he is predictable...because I know I can get the attention I want or need if I am patient. (I wish I had learned patience years ago)

Now, I will just shout once "It's 9:30!"